You'll fart, pee, puke, and poop in front of ten complete strangers who'll be staring intently at your vagina which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing!
Hilarious and disturbing! For those of you wondering what to expect from childbirth in a hospital setting, here are some highlights:
- The nurses are the ones who do almost all the work. With Zak, the doctor was present for about 30 minutes of my 36 hour stay.
- That being said, my nurses were awesome and extremely competent. I can't imagine why anyone would want to give birth at home, they really do a great job taking care of you in the hospital.
- Meals are served at old people hours. Breakfast is at 7AM, lunch at 11AM, and dinner at 4:30PM.
- Moms get all the attention. Dads have to sleep on the equivalent of a park bench with a cushion, so you fellas might want to bring a pillow.
- Did I mention attention? Moms get a LOT of attention... at all hours of day and night. Nurses come in to poke and prod you every few hours, sleep or no sleep.
- If your hospital is like ours, there are all kinds of free things you can take home. Almost everything in the baby's bassinet is yours to take: diapers, wipes, a bowl for sponge baths...
- For you technonerds out there, the hospital likely has free wi-fi so bring your gadgets
- Your prize for a successful delivery? Adult diapers and disposable underwear! You can tell Kyle thinks it's very sexy.
3 comments:
What?? I thought I had pumped you for all the dirty details but adult diapers? Oh merciful jesus!
Wow! It's even more fun than I could have imagined.
TMI.........TMI.......TMI.....!!!!!##??^^^(@#$$!!!
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