Today was my first day back at work since I went on maternity leave. The morning went off without a hitch: I fed Isabel at 4:30 AM and went back to bed at 5:30 AM for another hour. Kyle took Isabel to daycare around 7:15 and I was at work by 8:30 AM. I hope every morning goes that smoothly!
I was amazed to discover that I still remembered my access code to get in the door. My cube looked like a cold, barren wasteland because I'd taken down all the decorations before I left in case someone needed to move my stuff. It was a little intimidating to start up my computer for the first time in three months... would I remember where everything was? Would I be able to jump right back into work? Would my brain be able to deal with anything besides diapers and bottles?
Things slowly began looking more and more familiar, and by lunchtime I had managed to install the latest version of our development software and compile the source code. Our group went to lunch together, and it was wonderful to be out in nice clothes and heels, eating and talking with adults and not having to rush through my meal. The afternoon flew by and before I knew it, it was time to pick Isabel up from daycare.
When I got there, she was laying in a play gym, smiling at the toys above her. Ten hours... ten whole hours - that's the longest I've been apart from her in her whole life. She doesn't seem to mind for the time being; she's too young to know the difference yet. It's hard for me though. I'm used to playing with her, holding her, feeding her, or just staring into her eyes all day. I'm happy to be back at work, glad to be exercising my brain again, and I want to set an example for her, to show her that she can do anything she wants to do. I guess every working parent feels torn like this, and I keep wishing I could unite these two lives of mine.
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